Broken Pieces

Broken Pieces

"It is every day that your sister breaks my dishes" my mother was still saying when a dish fell from my hands.
Immediately it shattered, and its broken pieces lay scattered over the tiles.
My mom looked at the floor, at me and then at my brother. I'm sure she was tired now, very tired of how I break her dishes, cups and mugs.
I was tired. I wasn't always like this.
You see, I was once a cheerful person. Now my life is just like that dish, broken and its pieces scattered all over the place.
I would never be complete, ever again. I didn't ask for love, I didn't ask to be loved.
I just wanted to live my life, and be happy alone. No disappointments, no expectations.
Just me living my life and being happy. It's not too much to ask for now, is it?
Then why did that have to happen to me?
Many people say, 'may Nigeria never happen to you' but believe me when I say 'may Kunle never happen to you'.

I was on my own, as usual, on a sunny afternoon. The weather wasn't looking like it would be for two, it however felt like it could melt a metal. Everywhere was hot and I was all sweaty and sticky even with my yellow sleeveless chiffon blouse. I still wished to this day that I didn't come out of the room to get a cool breeze, not that I got one though. Even the breeze was not out to play on this day.
'I should probably get a cold drink' I thought to myself. That would help me with this scalding heat and harsh sun.
"Mummy Ayo, abeg give me cold Pepsi. This heat wan kill me" I said to the woman beside my house while stretching a two hundred naira note to her.
"There's no change o.", was the first thing she replied to me with.
"Okay, give me biscuits then. Use that complete..." I was still saying to her when she suddenly cut me off.
"Fifty naira biscuits? Where you wan find that one?", she laughed at me in reply.
'Wow' was my first thought.
The sun is showing no mercy, the NEPA is doing anyhow and now everything is pricey.
There is no hope for poor people like me, I thought.
Unknown to me, a young man was watching me converse with this woman from afar. He watched as I looked up the sky shook my head almost cried tears of frustration.
I didn't know when he got behind me but mummy Ayo was the one who called my attention to the young man.
"Comot for road o, let my customer enter." She said to me, almost dismissively.
"Oh crap, I'm so sorry. I didn't notice." I apologized to him gently without looking at his face.
"It's okay, you were busy" was his reply.
You know there are some voices you'd hear that'd make you want to own the owner? Yes, he had that voice. It made me want to call him mine, a complete stranger.
He had such a nice voice, it called to me. I tried, I really tried to fight it. I didn't want to look at his face because I knew a guy with such a nice voice can never be bad looking. Curiosity got the best of me, I looked up and lo and behold... Sorry, I've always wanted to use that line but what I saw caught me of guard. I gasped loudly and immediately used my palm to cover my mouth and faked a cough.
It was either that or I drooled over him.
"Are you okay? Do you need water?" He asked me with concern evident in his voice.
I almost voiced out my inner thoughts, 'oh yes, if it's you giving me the water'. I don't even know what that means but at that moment, that was what I felt.
He called to me and his eyes seemed to bore into my very soul. Sounds cliché but at that moment, he was all I could think of. What I felt.
"Hi, my name is Kunle." He introduced himself with a wide smile.
"Um... Hey, I'm uh... " I was saying, trying to avoid looking at his fine face.
"Do you guys want to buy something? No spoil my market for me o, go somewhere else and be doing love o" mama Ayo screamed at us.
What the hell?!
What in Hades' hell is doing love? Who says that now?
I sighed, apparently mama Ayo still does.
"So, do you think we should go somewhere else and continue this chat?", Kunle asked me with his palm stretched out.
Why he did that I do not know. Was he expecting me to take his hand or was he directing me to where he wanted us to talk? I didn't know, so I just went in the direction his hand pointed at.
"I didn't get your name earlier", Kunle said as he walked behind me
"I didn't give it.", I replied him.
He just smiled and asked what my name was which I told him.
"Sandra, that's my name. My name is Sandra.", I said quietly, a little bit nervous. I wasn't used to guys wanting to know my name, I avoided them at all cost.
My mother said she gave me the name because of nothing. There's no story behind my name for those fishing for one. No history, just a regular name like every other.
"Sandra," he repeated and then touched his lips, "that's such a sweet name."
No it is not, we both know it. I didn't tell him that though, I just smiled, said my thank you like a good girl and looked away shyly.
I looked around, checked the time on my phone. Crap, I've been out for two hours straight. I hated being out, I didn't like the outside world and because I went against my usual, this Kunle guy happened.
I was still thinking of excuses and words to say to him when he bid me goodbye. I wondered immediately what games he was playing and why he didn't even ask for my number.
Not that I cared though, I was just wondering.
The thoughts of Kunle plagued my mind, it felt as if he had a grip on my soul. Anytime I stepped out, I'd hope to see him. He was all I could think of.
I was starting to think he charmed me, not with his good looks and sweet voice, I mean really charmed me because this wasn't normal.
Being a student, as you obviously know isn't easy. Looking for what to eat, trying to read to understand, going for lectures and submitting assignments. Whoever said education was the best policy or whatever he or she said had a lot to drink because there is nothing to policing here.
I was still lost in my head, I didn't see the person in front of me until I hit him.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry" I apologized immediately. Amidst the fawning over 'my victim' with 'did I hurt you and are you okays ' I failed to look at the face. I was just touching and trying to see if I had finally done that which has been in my head since childhood. Make someone bleed to death.
"Sandra, I'm fine" was the voice I heard. At first, it didn't register, I thought my head was once again playing mind games with me. I shook my head and smiled at the thought, 'no be me you go shame' I spoke quietly to myself.
"Who wants to shame you?" The voice said again.
Oh! I hit a person, he has a voice. A voice that...
"Kunle, hi. It's you!" I chuckled nervously, "I didn't see you there."
"Yea, you almost broke my ribs with your head" he teased.
I knew it was a tease and I didn't have a big head. I don't have a big body but I immediately took offence.
"What do you mean by your big head and how did I almost break your ribs?" I replied in anger. I could have sworn, my head was hot and my eyes were on fire.
Raising his hands in a bid to calm me down, Kunle said "hey calm down tiger, it was a joke. I was just playing na".
Sighing and adjusting my handbag, I apologized once again for hitting him. I almost apologized for thinking about him too because yes, you're right; I'm stupid but I smiled and tried to pass him without touching him.
He drew me back unexpectedly into his chest and with those sinful eyes of his, asked for my number. I gave it, I had no choice. He held me at 'body-point'.
There was no denying my attraction to Kunle. Even I knew it, and every day I'd remind myself and even beg myself to stop. It got harder each day since he now had my number. We would talk every day and on days we didn't, we made up for it when we saw in school.
I never invited him to my place and he didn't ask. I was starting to think he was one of those gentlemen which was my first mistake. How stupid and gullible I must have been?
He saw how available I was, saw how emotionally invested I was and used that against me.
He would feign sickness and ask that I visit him at his apartment. I would, and even take along with my food, home-cooked meals. I that I haven't had enough, would spend on him.
I continued this or he did? We both did until one day he asked me out to his place. On getting there, I met his friends and some ladies. I asked what in heaven's gate was going on. Kunle told me it was a birthday party.
"Whose birthday?", I asked curiously because I was just hearing of it. A birthday? Who? He waved off the question and told me to relax, that it was an acquaintance of his.
These were red flags I saw as green. I must be colour blind if you ask me.
My mother once told me to be wary of men, not trust all that glittered. He knew how much I liked him and he used it against me.
He asked if I wanted a drink – no, I asked him to give me a drink. I insisted on it because I wanted to clear my head, I wanted to let go and not be on guard for once. It was always stressful, having to be on your toes around people. I felt it was just one night. Just a night for me to let loose.
I asked to be excused to use his room, I wanted to 'freshen up' maybe apply a lipstick – or not.
Kunle went with me, it should be nothing and I wasn't scared. As I said, I let loose.
He directed me into his bathroom where I did my business and came out. He was standing in the middle of the room when I came out. I walked slowly to him, walked and swung my hips to the side hoping to be a little seductive. Like I said I was drunk and wasn't in my right mind.
He knew this but still let me continue. I begged him to touch me which he did. I begged him to kiss me, and he responded with an earth-shattering kiss. I pleaded and got what I wanted but what I didn't ask for was two more hands.
I felt it before I saw it.
The pain I felt at that moment is – was inexplicable.
My mom would continue to wonder why I keep breaking her plates, and you will forever wonder what happened.
You might get to know one day when I'm gone but I refuse to retell a tale I wish to forget.
It doesn't matter if I already started, I cannot bring myself to finish this story.
What Kunle did to me...